The Online Dating Coach

Ways to please your lover

2009-06-20T07:53:00.004+01:00

Tie your lover's wrists together. Now, give them 30 seconds of oral sex before stopping and telling them off for responding to your attentions. Next demand that they repay the favor to you.
Tie up your lover. Blindfold them. Now tell them to lie back whilst you help yourself to their body. Do whatever you like!
Slowly trace the outline of your lover's lips with your forefinger. Next kiss the really sensitive spots at the corners of their mouth.
Slowly trickle warm massage oil into your partner's navel. Now dip your forefinger into this well of oil and draw slow, sensual circles around the inside and then the outside of the navel.

Don't just stick to dating one man

2009-06-05T09:30:00.003+01:00

I expect a lot of people would just stick to dating the one guy, going through the motions and then watching the relationship break down for whatever reason.

So, why not date lots of men at one time?

First find your men (stick with four to begin with) either online or at a gym or even at an evening class. Basically, if you see someone you like then approach them.

Make a point of telling them men about each other which will, hopefully, make them competitive for you. Each guy will then make more of an effort with you because they're not the only ones competing for your affection.

Choose one man to have sex with. This way you're starting to narrow down the list.

Repeat these steps until you find the right guy! You'll know as soon as you find him. You'll fall in love with the guy who possesses the criteria that you find important.

:)

Dating on Twitter

2009-05-25T20:58:00.004+01:00

You know about dating online, right? How about Twitter? Do you use it? Or, have you never heard of it?

Twitter is a micro-blogging host. It allows you to post what you're doing, feeling etc using just 140 words. If you use it already and are looking for partners online, have you considered looking for dates via Twitter?

Here is where you have to be extra careful. Twitter doesn't allow for much information to be posted about yourself. You have the chance to post your name, a short bio and a link to a website in your profile and that is it. So, to begin with, you know very little about the person behind the profile. Okay, you can say that about most, if not all, dating profiles; people can, and do, lie about themselves. But, there is more room to elaborate on normal dating profiles whereas there isn't on a Twitter profile.

The other problem is you have to find others who are interested in dating. Not everyone will want to use Twitter as a dating service. Most are using it to promote their websites, keep in touch with mates and the such.

So, what are the best ways to use Twitter for dating?

Well, this is something I not very clued up about so I shall provide a few links for you to find out more about this possibly new way of dating:

Follow Date.com on Twitter
Dating on Twitter ?!?
How to find girls on Twitter
Dating using Twitter - Best Twitter chat up lines

Have you fond love by using Twitter?

Would love to hear your stories!

Getting Ready For Your First Date by Mary Ann Tordecilla

2009-05-11T17:55:00.001+01:00

Getting Ready For Your First Date ,How To Plan, And Spend Your First Date
By Mary Ann Tordecilla

No one ever perfected the art of dating, even for the casual daters. The success and failure of dating varies largely from your date, situation and time. But take note that whatever the outcome of your date is, the whole experience is a learning. You should take note to these experiences so the next time you take someone out on a date, you already know what to do.

But for the first time daters, here are a few pointers to help make your first date fun and memorable.

The first thing you should take note is how to enjoy the day with your date. It is advisable that both of you discuss the things you love and the places you would want to go to. Expressing your opinion about these things is planning on how to spend a good time on your date.

It may be awkward to go to a place you are not comfortable or eat on a restaurant that serves food you are allergic to eat. These things can be avoided if you are open with your date about how to spend both your special day together. Also, do not plan your date by watching movies. First dates should be about getting to know each other well. Watching movies is not a good idea for talk. Pick a place or activity that can open up good conversation.

And speaking about good conversation, what exactly are the things you should talk about on the first date? It would be best to read first before your date. Read the news, find interesting articles online, or research about the latest gossip or business ideas in magazines. These things may help you get started. You can share the things you read with your date. But if you do not have time to read, a good way to start a conversation is asking your date about what he/she did that day or what are his/her favorite things.

So you now got ideas on what to talk about and you cannot wait to share these with your date. However, remember that listening is part of a good conversation. Do not let yourself do the talking. You must also listen to your date. This way, it is not a one man’s show but a two-way conversation.

When it comes to dressing up for a date, the clothes you are going to wear should be appropriate to the place and activity you are going to go and do. But most of the times, comfortable and casual clothing can do for most occasions. Whatever you are planning to wear, take to mind that appearance attracts so make sure you rock by just your looks.

Being in time is also important and posts positive impressions on your date. Courtesy is always practiced in your entire date. Men should be gentlemen all the time. And women should not take long to prepare for their date and do not keep their men waiting.

First dates should be about a day full of fun. Do not bring in conversation about your problems or past relationships. This is not the time to share these thoughts. Just enjoy the day with that special someone.

At the end of the day, daters should at least give a notion to their dates whether they are attracted or not and whether there is still a second date. If your date is not interested to go out with you anymore, just be cool and thank him/her for the night.

About the Author: Mary Ann Tordecilla has many years of experience with connecting people online both in dating and chat. You can connect live with singles here for free by clicking here Free Chat Line Numbers or clicking here Free Chatlines. Desireschat.Com is the hottest free chat line in the U.S. so click here to connect live free Chat Live

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=376741&ca=Dating

Depression and dating

2009-04-27T14:11:00.004+01:00

Throughout your search for a date/companion/friend/lover whether online or off, there'll be times when you won't feel up to scratch. This could be either mentally or physically. For now, I'm going to focus on the 'mental' side of things.

Depression can affect anyone at any time. No one is immune but some people will be affected by depression for most of their lives. Others will have the occasional bout of depression or low mood. Either way, depression can affect you in lots of different ways. It can affect your physical health as well as your motivation, your appetite, your self esteem, your confidence and your stress levels.

As someone who suffers with two types of depression and have done for most of my life, I know just how difficult it is to deal with and now it can affect your personal needs. Very often my search for friends or lovers have been seriously hampered by this condition. I very often have long periods of time when I'm just not interested in anything or anyone. Of course, this is detrimental to my well being and it will often leave me alone and frustrated.

I have often swung from needing some close friendship but then wondering if it's really a good idea for me at all. Some of this is do to with the depression without a doubt. So, it plays with my emotions and I'm often left confused as to what is right for me in the long term.

Am I best staying alone? Is it better for me to avoid becoming too close to others because of the depression? Can I really cope with a long term relationship at all?

On the other hand, I very often crave that closeness of friendship in particular. Knowing that I do not have a close friend to talk to, to help me, to support, is upsetting and worrying to say the least. However, any attempts to find this special closeness is hampered with how the depression makes me feel and how it affects how I see myself.

I know, for myself, that I will never be rid of the depression (the chemical imbalance in my brain puts paid to that) but I do, and will have to work through the difficult times if I wish to have any semblance of a happy life.

Depression is a difficult condition to deal with but it can be done and it doesn't have to be a major problem. However, do listen to yourself and your body and don't feel guilty if you have to take some time out from the dating scene.

Warm weather attracts love

2009-04-15T09:48:00.003+01:00

It seems with the start of the warmer weather, online dating has again taken off. There seem to be a lot of press releases for new dating services that promise you something different with your dating experience that you don't get anywhere else. Mmmmm...

A dating service that is strictly for serious daters. How are you going to ensure that your members are 100% serious when they sign up? Everyone believes they're serious about dating but circumstances beyond our control can change that in an instant. There are so many things that people look for and it's not always committment. Does that exclude those who are looking for fun or friends?

A service that is 100% free to join. So many dating services state this and then when you do sign you find that you have to pay in order to contact anybody or take advantage of any of the services that they offer.

Sophisticated matchmaking algorithms that ensures users get the exact match in the area that they want. One of the important features of a dating service is the search tool. If the search tool doesn't give you matches in your area, then the service is nigh on useless to you as a member.

An advanced mailbox system. Umm, yep, that is another important feature. In fact all of the dating services I've used all had good mailbox systems that did the job they were designed to do. Advanced features were not really necessary.

I'm now wondering just how long it will be before I start to see some of the older, more established, dating services advertising yet again on the London Tubes. With the problem of the credit crunch I think the free dating services will be seeing an increase in new members.

Go free online dating!

Get paid for writing dating articles

2009-04-06T09:35:00.005+01:00

Are you someone who has had a lot of experience with dating via the internet or offline? Do you think you can help someone else find love? Are you looking to earn some money by writing articles or working freelance?

Then this may be for you:

Using Google Blog Alerts, I came across a post written on the blog, On Writing Online

They have posted about a freelance writing opportunity that pays. Constant-Content is looking for articles on the subject of dating which includes these subjects:

fresh new dating sites
dating profile tricks
how to be a sugardaddy
rich women looking for men
newest dating sites
internet dating vs modern dating

and more!

If you're interested then please go to: Articles Wanted on Dating Websites, Advice and Tips for more information.

I have to say that if I had more time on my hands, I would be considering doing this. It may also be a good idea to check out the articles on dating on the site to see if you can pick up some useful tips.

Out of the 'dating loop'

2009-03-28T09:46:00.002Z

As I've been out of the 'dating' loop for so long now, I'm finding that I have very few experiences to relate back to you (the readers of this blog.)

Rather than close this blog down, I shall be using a tool to help inspire me for future posts about online dating and relationships.

As I did have a job working for an online dating site not that long ago I purchased several dating books to help me with ideas that I could post about. However, reading some of these books now, I beginning think that maybe they were a waste of money.

One such book, 1000 Best Dating Secrets by Cyndi Haynes, has surprised me in some ways with such advice that I feel could only be classed as stalking! This book was published in 2004 and I can only think that either she had a different way of seeing dating etc or the methods and ideas she suggested were definitely out of date.

Either way, some of the suggestions could easily be discounted as unadvisable or questionable. If you would like to know more then please do leave a comment and I will consider posting some of the tips she suggests here on this blog at a later date.

How to Regain Your Confidence

2009-03-17T08:29:00.004Z

How to Regain Your Confidence
by Ramses

There are two types of people in life, social butterflies and social outcasts. Well, maybe there are people in between, but through my eyes I’ve always seen it as a black and white scenario.

Throughout my life I’ve always been somewhat of a recluse, more content to live inside my head than out. To me the thoughts and dreams going on within the confines of my mind were greater than anything that could be achieved in the outside world, or so I thought.

I was what you would call a dreamer. Through the power of my mind I could create and concoct any situation I dare dreamt of whether it was plausible or not. These dreams became my reality and led me to become further distanced from the world surrounding me.

In large social gatherings I tended to stick close to the people I knew. I had a small group of friends, most of which were social butterflies who were my link to the outside world. They opened up doors for me into new social groups, but without them by my side I slipped back into my state of social recluse.

The above pattern repeated itself far into my teenage years and even up until my first few years of college. Throughout this time my lack of social acuteness led me to believe that something was wrong with me, why couldn’t I be popular and well liked by others? It reduced my confidence and my sense of self worth.

Towards the end of college I met a girl. We settled down and I found my confidence level and happiness increasing. However, this new found sense of confidence was short lived and two years later the relationship was over and I was back to where I began.

Many men fall into this same trap. They feel that a woman is the key to happiness and confidence. What they fail to understand is that like any other vice in life this happiness is short lived.

When my relationship fell apart my sense of worth and self confidence fell to levels lower than before the relationship began. I felt lost and insecure and even when speaking with women, I subconsciously found myself sabotaging any chance I had at having a relationship with them.

Why would I do this? I was afraid of having my confidence shattered again, I was scared of falling into the same pit of despair that I had recently escaped from.

I started to create excuses for myself. The girl was too tall, not my type, too good for me, not someone I could bring home to mom, etc.. This rationalization allowed me to maintain my confidence and self worth, albeit a false one, for a short period of time

It wasn’t until I started actively trying to learn the secrets of attraction when I had an epiphany and the answer to achieving self confidence revealed itself.

Obtaining self confidence doesn’t require a girlfriend or being popular. The secret to achieving self confidence lies within you. The greatest part about obtaining self confidence is that it makes you more popular with people and with females in general.

True confidence exudes an aura about you that’s visible for everyone in your presence. You’ll notice that people who’ve known you for years will look at you differently. Your friends will want to hang out with you more often and the females in your life will start to see you as a man worthy of their affection.

Achieving greater confidence is easier than you think. The key to growing your confidence is by letting go of the outside world. Forget about what others think about you and how they perceive you and instead focus on how you wish to define yourself.

Take a minute and write down ten aspects or traits that you wish to define you. These could be anything you want, maybe you want to become a great guitar player or perhaps you want to become a stand up comedian. It could be anything, just write it down on a piece of paper and you can worry about how to achieve these goals later.

Take a look at your list and pick the top three that interest you. Don’t hesitate just jump into the three items on your list. If it’s magic you want to learn go out and download some magic trick videos. If it’s comedy, sign up for amateur night at your local comedy club.

This may seem simple and obvious, but you’ll be surprised at just how simple the process of achieving confidence is. The more things you get involved in, the more conversational topics you’ll have at your disposal when out in social situations. The more you have to talk about, the more attention you’ll garner from the people that you meet.

Before long you’ll notice that you are internally validated. Your confidence will radiate out from you and the more confidence you exude, the more others will gravitate towards you.

The greatest part about gaining confidence is that it can be put into practice immediately. The key is to block out others perceptions of you and to create your own perception.

Become the person that you want to be and in a short period of time your peers will come to see you in this light as well.

Now I’ve overcome my social anxieties and I no longer depend upon friends to meet others. I’m a social butterfly and there’s rarely a night where I’m not out with friends or girls that I’ve met. In fact, the problem I face now is how to fit everyone into my schedule, It’s a great problem to have.

Ramses is a certified dating instructor at www.skillsofthegame.com. He's helped thousands of men increase their success in dating women.

Article Source: http://www.articledashboard.com/Article/How-to-Regain-Your-Confidence/777611

Age gaps

2009-03-06T10:44:00.002Z

This is a subject that seems to be cropping up rather a lot lately:

The subject of age gaps.

I've know idea why. If you match with someone then it shouldn't matter how large the age gap is between you. In both (only two? yes, only two) of my long standing relationships the age gap between me and my partner was (is) ten years. In both cases it has never caused a problem for me or my partner. It has only caused a problem for other people and that was purely for the reason that they didn't approve of my present partner and not because of the age gap. Confused? Yep, so was I!

Let me explain:

When I was with my first ten-year-gap-partner, nothing was a problem; not how he behaved towards me, towards my family or anything. When I got together with my present partner, then the age gap became a problem purely because they didn't approve of my partner at all. Then the problem was that he was 10 years older than me. But, wait a minute! My ex was ten years older than me, so why all of a sudden is it a problem now?

My present partner is nothing like my ex. He doesn't treat me badly. He respects me; he loves me for who I am and doesn't try get one up on me. He has never laid a finger on me unlike my ex. So what is the problem?

My point is?

Age gaps are a problem only for other people. If you love each other and the gap does not cause additional problems in the relationship, then ignore everybody else.

I've been dumped!

2009-02-27T09:31:00.003Z

No, I haven't really, but I have been in the past as I'm sure you have too. Not very nice is it? But, the trick is to see being dumped as a positive thing which I know is hard to do.

The thing to do is to see the positive in the negative in all aspects of your life, not just dating. But, as this is a dating blog...

Sometimes, you don't know the reasons why you have been dumped and its easy to really get yourself worked up about the whys and the wherefores. I know; I've done it myself. However, you are better than that.

With internet dating its easy to get swept along with the excitement of it all and forget that internet dating is riskier in terms of compatibility than if you'd met them in a bar, at a social activity, an evening class or some other social situation.

You are going purely on how they 'talk' via a keyboard only. Yes, they can send images but who's to say that it's them? If it is them, they may have changed considerably, too. It's also easier to create a persona behind the computer screen than if you met someone face to face. So, you are more likely to get a false impression of someone via the internet.

It doesn't have to be that way all the time, though. Always be true to your potential date/match. Send them up-to-date images of yourself. Don't lie about anything to do with your personal appearance, your life or your work.

But, what do you do if you are dumped?

I could be really harsh here and say, "Get over it!"

But, I won't, simply because it's not that easy to get over being dumped. It can really damage your self-esteem. Self esteem that you have spent weeks/months/years building up. If they do give reasons why they have dumped you, the chances are those reasons say more about them than it does about you. I've been dumped because I've not 'put out' as quickly as they'd have liked. That has happened twice. Mmmm, somehow I haven't lost out there at all!

I've also been dumped because they didn't find me as attractive offline as they did online. Not a problem at all. I just would have preferred to have been told rather than just left sitting in a cafe on my own waiting for them to return...

I've also been dumped because of money issues.

Anyway, don't lose sleep too much over being dumped. Think of it as an early escape!

The Chance Meeting

2009-02-19T09:48:00.002Z

Rather than look for potential mates in places that you are virtually guaranteed of finding a match, have you ever considered meeting a match by chance?

As we go about our day to day lives there are so many possible chance meetings just waiting to happen. Here is a small list of just a few of the places you could possibly meet your life partner:

The train - If you regularly travel to work by train then chances are you're going to see the same people every day doing the same thing. If you see someone attractive, why not say "hi." You have nothing to lose!
The Airport - Airports are a good place to meet someone especially with all the delays that are occuring lately! Maybe you're both in the holiday mood or you could be taking advantage of the duty free, pub or restaurants.
On holiday - Yes, I know, holiday romances don't always work but then neither does internet dating. It can work for some but not for others but that doesn't mean you should discount the opportunity if it materialises.
At a concert - At least here you know you have the same taste in music. Packed together in the concert hall or the bar afterward or in the intervals, take advantage of the atmosphere to strike up conversation with a hottie.
At an evening class - Learn something new and find a potential partner at the same time. Go for interest-specific classes like wine-tasting or learning a new language.

I would love to know if you've met someone new in this way. Please, do leave your story in the comment sections :)

The day before Valentine's Day...

2009-02-13T09:39:00.004Z

Image by Kounelli via Flickr

...and how about some inspirational quotes about love?

One of my favourite Lensmasters at Squidoo.com has created and published a lens about love quotes. It features loads of beautiful quotes from the famous and the not-so-famous and it inspires and encourages us to never forget the reasons why we love our partners/husbands/wives/lovers.

My favourite quote on this lens is:

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other but looking in the same direction together — Antonne de Saint-Exupery."

Looking for inspiration? Then check out the lens: Quotes About Love

Valentine's Day

2009-01-31T10:48:00.002Z

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Unfortunately, dating sites that are a teeny, weeny bit spammy are two a penny on Squidoo, as with the entire Internet, you cannot avoid stumbling on these many sites. All they seem to want to do is sell you something. Ack!

So, I've decided to highlight some of the lenses from Lensmasters I know and trust to make good, quality sites about the information you want, no! need, to read.

So, here is my first one:

Valentines Day

Squidoo lenses or any website, blog etc. are always the best when the writer has written about their own personal experiences. After all, Valentine's Day is different for everyone all over the world and not everyone decides to celebrate it.

This lens is packed full of interesting stories about where Valentine's Day originated from, the lensmaster's personal stories and recommendations for gifts and music. The entire lens is neatly laid out with links to other Valentine's Day lenses that you can visit to your heart's content.

It also features a sweet little poem written by the lensmaster's 10 year old daughter; such a unique and personal touch that makes this lens one of the best lenses on Valentine's Day out there.

I have to say Congratulations to AJ for publishing this lens :)

P.S I have to say I'm loving Zemanta :) (maybe an idea for the lens?)

Dating tips and advice are aplenty on the internet

2009-01-13T11:08:00.002Z

Dating tips and advice are aplenty on the internet, not forgetting those you may come across in books, magazines, interviews, radio shows and TV shows.

Not all these tips will apply to you; many won't but that shouldn't mean you should discount any of them as being useless or just plain wrong.

Read and listen to everything that you can about online and offline dating because you may never know when what you read or hear will become useful if not vital for your success.

This post was inspired by a comment left on an article I published on this blog in this post, 5 Tips for Successful Dating – Both Online and In Person. I didn't write the article but anything I publish or post here, I will agree with, otherwise it just won't see the light.

As I've stated above, you will not be able to use every tip or advice that you read or hear but that doesn't mean to say that that advice is incorrect. Some things will work for you and some things won't.

If it doesn't apply to you, just move on. Don't beat yourself up over it and don't beat up the person who gave you the advice in the first place.

Dating After Fifty- A Fifty Plus Community

2008-12-18T09:58:00.002Z

You know I promised you some good Squidoo dating lenses?

Well, I've decided to give them to you one at a time with a little review :) This way you can browse them at leisure.

Okay, here's the first one:

Dating After Fifty- A Fifty Plus Community

The author of this lens has given some really good information about dating after 50 and this includes the more intimate side of things in a relationship. She includes dating tips, make-up advice, advice on where or what to do on that first date and lots more!

I like this lens simply because it's easy to read and it's not giving you the hard sell. Yes, she is the owner of a particular dating site but this is secondary to the information given in this lens.

So, why not visit and see what you think?

Would love to know your thoughts on this lens, too!

Social networking is working better

2008-11-25T12:48:00.002Z

I think I'm really going to have a sit down and think seriously about what I want to do with regards to dating sites etc. The more work I do, the less time I find I have for anything else including logging in to the various sites.

At the moment, social networking is working better for me as it's not something I have to think about doing outside of my work.

I've been spending a lot of my time working on lenses at Squidoo.com and I'm loving every minute of it :)

One thing I will do for you, is to search for some good dating lenses that I feel give good advice and are easy and pleasant to read.

So, keep an eye for my next post!

In the meantime, if you would like to know more about Squidoo, why not sign up? It's free and you're under no obligation to publish any lenses if you don't wish to.

Here is the link to my profile on Squidoo and this way you can have a look at some of the lenses I have created. You can comment on the guestbook, take polls, join in with debates without needing to sign up for an account so please feel free to let me know what you think :)

Inkserotica aka Carrie White on Squidoo!

Take a break

2008-10-30T09:19:00.002Z

After so many weeks absence (which I apologise for), I'm back :)

I've been so busy with work etc. that searching for friends has been allocated to the back burner. I'm still a member of a select few sites but as yet have had no luck with contacts.

This is something that you'll probably experience at some time in your search for a partner or a lover. The disappointment of not finding that special someone. It happens to us all, unfortunately, but it doesn't have to be the end.

Take a break from the endless search. On most dating site accounts you can suspend or 'hide' your profile. Maybe use this time to revise your profile. Update the information or re-word your ad or upload a more recent image of yourself. All these little tweaks can really help to gain new interest in you.

Or, if you prefer, don't log in to the site for a few weeks or maybe months. Or, perhaps find some new dating sites.

I'm seriously considering doing the same thing: finding new sites. I don't feel, much as I like the sites I'm on now, that I'm really going to get anywhere with them. It's a shame but sometimes it something you have to do.

Of course, the sites I will look at probably won't be the kind of sites that you will be looking for simply because I'm looking for something different, but they all work in the same way.

Anyway, do let me know how you get on! :)

5 Tips for Successful Dating – Both Online and In Person

2008-10-09T09:45:00.000+01:00

5 Tips for Successful Dating – Both Online and In Person

There are many advantages to dating online, among them the potential to meet someone that you might like to bring into your life on an up-close and personal basis. Although dating online differs in many ways from its real world equivalent, there are some basic protocols you should follow if you wish for your endeavors to be successful. What follows is a list of 5 things you can do to date successfully online and (hopefully) in person, if you so wish.

Be honest. As the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy,” and should be applied at all times when dating online. Just as you don’t want to be misled by someone online, extend the same courtesy to your prospective suitors. Don’t make false claims about any aspect of who you are. The most important thing is to be open, honest, and true to yourself at all times.

Maintain your individuality. Don’t change for anyone, especially a potential suitor. You must do what makes you happy and refer to rule number one if you are ever considering modifying who you are for someone else. Our differences are what make us interesting to others, so be an individual—it’s far more interesting.

Establish boundaries early. You can always loosen the rules later, but it’s far harder to rein things in once they begin to spiral out of your control. Let your online suitor know what is and is not appropriate. If you are just being casual and trying to meet new people, don’t encourage flirty or sexually explicit talk. Respect is hard to earn if you allow behavior that makes you uncomfortable. This can create unnecessary tension and awkwardness as well.

Keep the balance. Attraction is based on push-pull theory, or the idea that you want what you cannot have and the same rules apply with online dating. Don’t be available all the time; this is a sign of neediness that is the equivalent of attraction death. Keep the mystery alive and intriguing without being dishonest. Be the first to end conversations and let them wonder what’s coming next. As things develop, the cat and mouse game will evolve, but don’t appear desperate from the get-go.

Take your time. There is absolutely no reason to rush things. An advantage of dating online is that it is done on your terms and can grow if you want it to. Don’t rush off to meet someone you barely know. If the suitor is worth meeting, he or she will be patient enough to realize that you are someone who knows what they want, not just another person looking to hook up.

This post was contributed by Kelly Kilpatrick, who writes on the subject of the best dating site. She invites your feedback at kellykilpatrick24 at gmail dot com.

WestEastCafe.eu - Review

2008-09-08T19:43:00.006+01:00

If you're new to the idea of Internet dating then it's important that you find a service that can give you confidence and make the whole online free dating experience as smooth and easy as possible.

WestEastCafe.eu, I believe, can do this for you.

The website, itself, is designed with simplicity in mind and is both attractive and clean to look at. Registration is a breeze with no technical problems occurring; even the confirmation email arrived very quickly. The whole process, including completing in the extended profile information, can be finished within 10 minutes or less. Even uploading an image for your profile is easy and quick. Try uploading a video or an audio recording of yourself to really enhance your profile. This will increase your chances of finding that perfect match.

When you've registered and filled out as much as your profile as you'd like, your homepage then gives you all the information you need to use the site efficiently; everything is literally just one click away. On many dating and social networking sites, I've been disappointed by the lack of contacts available for me (I'm looking for friendship only) but there are a number of potential matches on WestEastCafe.eu that will keep me signed up to the site for awhile.

The dating service caters for people from Europe and allows free contact (email and instant chat), search, smiles (these are used to make quick, initial contact to see if the other member is likely to be interested in you; very handy if you're shy!) and check out who's visited your profile. Other worthwhile and interesting features include your own blog which you can set to private if you wish and a calendar.

Currently, there's plenty of information to read if members require more details about the service and how it works or if more help and support is needed. To be quite honest, the site is so easy and straight forward to use, I would be very surprised if the Admin receives that many queries.

Overall, I would be happy to keep my current profile active on this online free dating site to see how it progresses in the near future. I would also recommend it for anyone who is looking for friendship, dating, activity partners or help with language difficulties.

Dating After A Nasty Break-Up

2008-09-02T19:24:00.002+01:00

Dating After A Nasty Break-Up

by slinkydating

Dating is not like riding a bicycle. You can't simply start dating again after years of inactivity and instantly get the hang of it after only few tries.

Oftentimes, a guy who has just experienced divorce or the break-up of a serious relationship will go through a dearth of dates for months or even years.

That 's normal, according to psychologists. It simply means that the man is still genuinely mourning his lost love instead of trying to numb the pain by dating a series of sometimes inappropriate partners.

But what if you truly want to move forward yet still have great difficulty getting dates? How do you get out of that lonely rut?

The first step is to determine why you're not getting even a nibble of romance. Once you've done that, then you can figure out what to do to climb out of your dateless hole.

After a break-up, there are usually two main reasons why men experience a dating drought. First, they may not yet be ready to date again. And second, their dating style and strategies may be wrong.

You may be lonely, fed up with being dateless and eager to start dating again, but it does not necessarily mean you are ready to do so. Just because your ex-spouse has signed the final divorce papers, it does not mean you are prepared to meet new people.

Anger, bitterness and the pain of betrayal can sometimes linger after a bad break-up. These are feeling you have to first come to terms with. If left unresolved, they will rear their ugly head even during the most casual dating scenarios and severely affect your chances of moving on.

You might be thinking, that couldn't possibly happen to me. Try asking yourself a few things. Do you project negative or defensive vibes to the opposite sex? Do you find yourself talking about your ex-partner or ex-wife too much? Do you try too hard to be liked (a subconscious attempt to get over rejection)? Do you feel shy and uncomfortable talking to women you find attractive?

If the answer to any of these questions is 'yes', then take a good hard look at your situation. Perhaps you need more time to heal or regroup. Perhaps you need to re-assess what you really want. Remember that what you wanted in your twenties may not be the same as what you want now that you are in your thirties or forties.

Now, if you've finished healing and reassessment but still can't get a date, maybe your problem is logistical rather than emotional. It may be time to update your dating strategies. For instance, when trying to meet people, do you still head to the same places you used to visit when you were single? Do you try to find romance in clubs and bars? Do you only go out when you're with your posse of single friends?

Try a different approach like online dating or dating events and mixers. Immerse yourself in new activities and make them a regular part of the schedule. Try looking in non-intimidating venues such as bookstores instead of bars.

When you do date someone, look for a woman who shares your interests and not only as a romantic pursuit. Find common ground first and perhaps romance will follow. And most of all, be patient. Don't expect sparks to fly right away.

At the end of the day, remember that it will take time to heal your wounds, but trust in the process - it IS supposed to hurt (otherwise you would be a cold hearted robot and very few women love guys like that) and it WILL get better.

Just give it time, be mindful of your self-talk, and get back out there and just LIVE life again, and when the time is right, you will meet someone special again and connect with her.

Just have faith...

About the Author

Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Slinky Dating Australia, a unique Australian online dating service, offering singles access to people searching for friendship, relationships, romance and love.

Slinky - http://www.slinky.com.au - is Free to join, and welcomes single Australians everywhere to try out our service and meet someone special today.

Article Source: Content for Reprint

Random thoughts

2008-08-04T10:36:00.001+01:00

How the lyrics of specific love songs suddenly make sense when you're in love or are in the process of falling in love with someone...Namely, Annie's Song by John Denver.
How, as with making love (or is this just me..?), writing needs to be done on a regular basis to keep the juices flowing and all the important cylinders firing with force, passion and accuracy.
How much love and desire can really hurt when you're apart...
How I can write a profile on a dating site to attract men but cannot write a profile or ad to attract women.
How one person can have a completely different idea and view of what constitutes a 'friendship' compared to another. Or, perhaps my views are old fashioned or out of date.
How being bisexual does not automatically mean that you are going to jump into bed with everything that moves! Yes, the potential for attraction is there, but it doesn't mean it will happen and it doesn't mean that you're going to act on it!
How as I get older I'm attracting a different sort of man and more frequently too, than when I was younger.
How you can be sexy and not be aware of the fact at all!
That sexiness comes with confidence and the fact that you know what you want and how to get it and not about how good your figure is or how perfect you are or aren't. Body flaws are sexy, too!!
How wearing high heels when you're not used to them can knacker your feet up.

How many men (and women) have you met from the internet?

2008-08-01T14:15:00.003+01:00

This is a question I answered in March 2007 on Inks Goes Freelance. It still applies today and it's more suited to this blog now that I've changed IGF's topics. I shall moving all dating posts from IGF to The Online Dating Coach over the next few days or so:

and 'Where are the best places to find interesting people?'

I think I know more people from the internet than I have met. I think it's roughly about 8 or 9 people that I have actually met in the flesh. Half of these I met before I moved to London in the early days of my experience of the internet. One good contact was from a guy (C) who lived just 2 miles away. If I hadn't have gone online I would never have met him at all. It's weird how small the world can be sometimes.

Some have become close friends of who I've met once but have known for 8 years+, and the others are just people I've met once or twice (didn't get on or for reasons like that), some I've been friends with but have grown apart (A (female)) from for one reason or another. I'm still friends with her, but we hardly contact each other now. One or two have become good, long relationships (still ongoing!) of people I've grown to love and respect.

I've never had a really bad experience with meeting people off the internet but I think I've been lucky, no scrap that, extremely lucky. Two relationships went sour but not because of the type of person they were but mainly due to circumstances, i.e moving further away from them, misunderstandings, etc.

The sites from which I've met these friends have been varied. One or two have been from a chatroom which no longer exists. A few have been from social networking sites, from support groups and writing communities and the rest have been from online dating sites.

So, it's all a bit of a mix-match, lol but I've never regretted meeting or getting to know any of these people. I should warn you to be careful, though, because as I said, I've been extremely lucky with all the people I've met.

My Advice:

Get to know someone really well before you meet up with them. I communicated with many of my friends for months via email, phone and letters before I took the chance. Ok, I know it's not a foolproof method of being safe but it does help.

Meet up in a public place, preferably one with lots of people around. If you live in an area like London, keep contact via mobile down to a minimum.

If possible, tell someone you know where you're going, who you're meeting up with and where you're likely to be during the time you're out.

Sites that I would recommend, for now, to try to find interesting people are:

Social Networking Sites:

Okcupid
Xpeeps (Adult community! If you're easily offended or prudish, don't join this one.)
Myspace.com

There is absolutely no need to pay for any of the dating sites you join. It's really not necessary when there are plenty of good, 100% free dating sites out there. Beware of sites that tell you that they are 100% free but when you eventually try to contact or reply to someone, you are prompted for payment details. If you would like a list of dating sites that I recommend which are free, just leave a comment to this post :)

Question submitted by J. from London. Thankyou!

Why are you looking for friends on dating sites or services?

2008-07-28T09:38:00.003+01:00

A question I'm often asked whilst searching for friends is, "Why are you looking for friends on dating sites or services?"

Err, duh! I look for friends on dating sites because they allow you to do so! It seems to be a common thought or myth that dating sites are just for dating but they are not. They are for dating, friendships, activity partners and more. Most dating sites will advertise that they are friendship sites, too. In fact, successful relationships of a romantic kind usually start off as friends and develop into something more as time goes on.

Yes, I agree that there are sites out there specifically for friendships (the ones I've joined have been expensive or have not given me any contacts at all) but if you're looking for friends online and off, don't just limit yourself to these sites. Believe it or not, I have found friends on dating sites which include:

Smooch.com
PlentyofFish.com

but, unfortunately, none of them have worked out.

Of course there are the kind of sites that enable you to look for pen friends which is okay if you're happy to be in contact with friends from all over the world. But, what if you're just looking for friends in your own country or even in your own town?

One suggestion would be to join one or more of the many social networking sites on the Internet. These include:

Myspace.com
Facebook.com
Bebo.com etc.

I've found online friends (both male and female) from these sites but have yet to meet any of them! and my Myspace account is used not just for promotion but to keep in contact with friends I've already made.

I've tried so many sites that are just for friendships but I've been disappointed by most; some I'm chatted up on, others I get no responses at all so I would be very interested to hear from anyone who has joined a site (preferably free) for friendships and found it to be a good service.

What have been your experiences?
Are you disappointed with the lack of choice of sites to join if you're looking for friends?

Make sure you upgrade your account...

2008-07-18T10:46:00.004+01:00

Yet again, I've found myself lured to join a site with the promise that it was 100% free. Unfortunately, I didn't get to discover that this wasn't the case, until I was at the point of completing my profile and verifying my email address.

Then, I happen to glance to the left sidebar and what did I find?

A little note saying: 'Make sure you upgrade your account otherwise you won't be able to email other members.'

Crap...

So, now I'm stuck with the decision as to whether I should leave my account active for a while to see if other members contact me or do I leave? I've already been favourited by one member (female) but I don't think I'll hear anything from her. She's probably in the same position as me.

Since that alert, I've received nothing else.

Update:

I've removed my account from said dating site.